Two Keys to a Happy
Marriage
by Kevin Miller
It would be easy to
blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough
quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our
hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books,
articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects
of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are
vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t
happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem
is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.
To get a hint of what
this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture
passage:
One of them, an expert
in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the
greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that
virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners
failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The
minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our
partner; we’re destined for trouble.
Experiencing
communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on
listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more
airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When
was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly
thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together?
How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use
your time?
As you begin to do
these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away
from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result,
communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you
naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such
changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial
pressures, childrearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control.
But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each
day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather
any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the
way!
...............................................
Have you struggled to
find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited
God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, we encourage you
to pray the following:
"Dear God, thank
you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan
and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you to forgive the past
self-centeredness, come into our lives and relationship and direct our steps
from now on. Please give us the grace to put you and each other first every
day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a
blessing to you. Amen."
We would love to hear
from you. Whether you prayed this prayer or not we would gladly send you some
great links with resources to help your marriage become stronger.
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